Highs and lows

Well, this week has had some highs and lows for me. Starting with the lows, my little Nat seems to be hitting the terrible twos about 6 months early! She loves to bite and pinch people, has even pinched her little friend from church leaving scratch marks on her! I don’t know what to do about it, feel like I’ve tried everything to get her to stop. I’ve even tried giving her a little pinch, but it doesn’t seem to work. My husband is like how do you expect her to know better when you do it back? And I just reply with “I’m desperate!” My leg is covered with scratches from her coming up and out of the blue pinching me, and it hurts too! You wouldn’t think tiny little fingers like that could do some damage, but I got the marks that say otherwise.

The low point of the week for me was probably the other night. Last week I went and bought a bike and we got a little seat for Nat and spent a couple of days getting it ready, but then got super busy and didn’t have a chance to try it out. So the other night I decided I was gonna go hop on it without Nat to make sure I remembered how to ride (I mean, it’s only been like 20 years since I last rode a bike!) Well, as I push it out towards the end of the driveway and start to hop on it, I hear a loud guffaw of laughter and I quickly turn to see one of my neighbor’s friends busting up laughing at me and tapping my neighbor on the shoulder to have him look as well. He then of course saw that I was looking at him and quickly waved at me and stopped laughing. But the damage had been done. I went ahead and got onto the bike and did a quick lap around the block, then tried to slink back in the house without being noticed (don’t think I was successful at that). I tried not to let it bother me, but as the evening went on it kept replaying in my head and made me feel worse and worse about it. Of course my husband wasn’t much help because he can never understand the way women think or feel. Oh to be a guy and not care what anyone thinks! But it just made me feel really depressed. I mean, how had I let it get to this point? How had I become the fat girl the people point and laugh at? So yeah, that right there was the low point of my week. Probably the low point of the month, maybe even the year! Which is dumb, I know. Why should I care what some guy I don’t even know thinks? But it’s humiliating. I mean, here I am, trying to do something about my weight, and I get made fun of for it. No wonder I don’t go to a gym or anything.

So, there I was, feeling down about myself. But I made my husband get up with me the next morning and we took our first bike ride together with little Nat in her seat. She loved it! I loved it, was a really great feeling riding around with them, even if that seat killed my bottom. We came home, and I did my usual stuff around the house and had a pretty okay day, even got a nap in which always makes it better. Baked some cookies for Activity Day. Then the kids and I headed out to the church for our Wednesday night activities. The young men and young women activities ran a little later than normal, so we didn’t get home till after 9:00 and Shaun had decided to go eat with a friend from work so he wasn’t home yet either. We got up to the door and there was a note stuck to it. It said that “we hope that you’re blessed by having your lawn mowed. we’re glad to have good neighbors and look forward to getting to know you. In Christ,” and had their name on it. And I looked and sure enough, they had mowed our front lawn (which needed it badly, had it on the agenda for today). So, that made me feel very good. But then I was like, crap, what do I do to thank them? I just finished baking some brownies that I hope turn out good enough to take over to them. I tried a recipe on the box for my chocolate malt-o-meal because I really don’t keep a lot of baking supplies around. I mean, who needs that temptation all the time? So, I’m trying to be patient and let them cool completely. I have a really bad habit of getting too impatient with brownies. Keep thinking I should go ahead and buy that perfect brownie pan, since I can never wait long enough to cut them so they don’t fall apart in the process.

Another good thing this week was our Activity Day last night went really well. I think it was one of the best ones we’ve done. I’ll have to add it to my Activity Day page. I love my co-leader. She’s so awesome at coming up with ideas and carrying them out. It actually helps me to enjoy this calling instead of dread it. Which is important. I mean, who wants a calling that they hate? Kind of takes away the gift of service when you do it out of obligation. Well, I’m going to go so I can find my thank you notes to write one out to our neighbors and then hopefully this evening we can go and properly introduce ourselves. I mean, it’s only been 6 months, what’s the rush? lol

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